The Myth of Proverbs 22:6 and the Departed Child

I am teaching Proverbs to three groups of women at the present time.  Next week we are dealing with one of the most quoted verses on raising children.  Many young parents have idealistic hopes of raising godly super heroes.  They do everything, including reading books, having family devotions, praying with their children, consistently disciplining  them, memorizing scripture, home-schooling or putting the child in a Christian school, and taking them to every possible church activity.  Yet as a child gets older, he may start to pull away and challenge what he has been taught. 

How many times have we heard   Proverbs 22:6 NIV, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” quoted? The common opinion is that the wayward child will one day return to the faith of his upbringing and live a godly life.

Proverbs are not guarantees.  They are illustrations and state a general truth in a given situation.  They are not binding.  We see many verses that support this.  Throughout Proverbs it says things like a godly man will have a long life, or the wicked will die young.  Does that always happen?  No, many times it is the opposite. We are also told that a soft answer turns away wrath.  Not always.  Proverbs are guidelines by which to live.  They are wise principles.

The Hebrew word for “train” in verse 6 refers to “narrowing and hedging in.”  That is to “narrow a child’s conduct" away from sin and toward godliness.  There is a similar word in Egyptian that refers to “set up for divine service.”  That would imply preparing for future responsibility, or encouraging them to develop their God-given gifts or abilities.  The term often used is to “follow their bent.”

We are all given a free will.  We can nurture our children in faith, but there reaches a time when we must let them go.  They will experience the blessings of their obedience to godly wisdom or they  must endure consequences of their sin. 

That does not mean that the parents have failed.  Many godly parents have serious issues with their children.  Many godless parents raise wonderful and godly kids. 

 Consider Adam and Eve.

The Lord created a perfect environment.  There was no sin.  Eden provided for every need.  There was direct communication with God and all necessary wisdom from the  Heavenly Father to live a sinless life.  God created Adam and Eve in His own image.  He gave them freedom to live as they desired.  And contrary to all the laws and moral ethics of today, they only had one area in which to rebel.  They sinned against the Father; a perfect Father in a perfect environment.  Why should we be surprised that our children are disobedient in this culture?

What did God do?  Did He stop loving them and abandon them or give up?    No, He created a path of forgiveness with the greatest sacrifice ever given.  He restored the possibility of a perfect eternal life in a perfect environment to all who repent.  Be aware that not all  respond to the Father who is perfect.

For parents, as hurtful as a wayward child is, we need to keep our godly perspective and forgive as He forgave us.  Ephesians 4:32.  We must keep the door open, forgiving the child, not the sin.  By doing that, it is easier for the prodigal child to return.  That takes the focus off the sin and moves it to the soul, which is God’s alone to judge.  It is a comfort to know that He cares more than we ever could, and as the God of Heaven, He alone can transform a life.  There is always hope in Him.

If you have godly children, pray for the protection of your family.  If you raised your child according to His word and have a prodigal child, take comfort in knowing that before the Lord, you have been faithful in your example.  Children are not given to us for our pride or to embarrass us.  They are a loan from the Lord and are ultimately His to love and to discipline in His wisdom.

Note:  The purpose of my blog is to share things that have helped me, given me joy, made me a better wife, mother and homemaker.  Sometimes it is a recipe, or deals with a decorating hint, but as parents, we need insight and encouragement, too.  I am sharing this from my heart and experience.  I pray that these words will bring comfort to hurting parents and insight to those who have been critical. 

Note: the artwork is from a free clip art site and I was unable to find the source.